What a wonderful life it's been....how many men get to fulfill their ultimate fantasy....he had lived his for ten years....ten short years!!!
It seemed like only yesterday that his dreams had all come true....and now it all came crashing down like a house of cards!!!
And she slept, still beside him, she never even felt the tickle of the magic as it did it's diabolical work!!!
A deal was a deal....and he knew this day was coming....but he had been in denial for so long...he thought back....
10 short years ago....a stranger had come to him with an offer....to make his dreams come true.....
"But what do you want in return?"
The stranger laughed...
"Honestly!!!! Don't you people ever watch movies or read books....I'm the Devil....what do you suppose I want....I want you to buy me lunch and we'll be square..."
"Really? All I have to do is buy you lunch?"
"Wow....you're really not the sharpest knife in the drawer are you? You can buy me lunch if you want....in fact I'm going to make that part of the deal....I haven't had a good pastrami sandwich since....since I don't know when!!! But really the thing I want is your immortal soul! That's the deal....you get to live your dream for ten years and all you have to give me is your immortal soul....and a hot pastrami on rye....with cole slaw...."
"Wait....no I want a pickle too!"
Over lunch the deal was done....as the Devil enjoyed the last bite of his pickle....they agreed....he could live his dream for 10 years....and then all would return to as it is now....and he would have a day after to make ready to join all his ancestors in Hell.
"You mean my Grampy and Grammy are in Hell....how can that be they were very religious people...."
"Well....the other place has a lot of rules....and all you have to do is break one once in your life....and there you go...eternal damnation for you....I think your granny and gramps were damned for.....hmm let me see....it was either premarital sex or masturbation....I don't really remember which but it was definitely something about sex....."
"That's really more than I wanted to know!!!"
"Hey it's his rules not mine so what do you want to do....I have a lot of other people to tempt today!
"If I say yes....what happens to me?"
"You get to live your dream for 10 long years....and then it's done....I'll even give you one bonus day to get your affairs in order before I come for you....I'm usually not this generous but dammit...that was the best pastrami I've had since I don't know when!!!"
"10 long years....and a day to wrap up my affairs....but what about the torments of Hell?"
"How bad could it be.....literally everyone you've ever known is either already there or on their way....it'll be like the biggest class reunion you can imagine....and maybe some eternal torture too....I don't want to lie to you....maybe a lot of eternal torture....but you'll have 10 years of memories to last you forever!!!"
"Alright.....you've convinced me....do I need to sign a contract?"
"A contract!!!! How old fashioned....I have an app for this.....just download the iSatan app and as soon as you click the terms of service agreement you can start your new life..."
"It's in the App Store?"
"Of course it is....I guess you don't know....that whole company is named after the fruit that Eve gave Adam....when I found those two they were jerking off to some old Penthouse magazines!!!!"
He downloaded the app and clicked OK on the user agreement and the world swirled around him....
His life was new and exciting and after two years he'd met her and they had fallen in love...he'd never told her that their time would be limited....in fact he put it completely out of his mind.....
What would she say when she opened her eyes and saw her lover like this....maybe the extra day was a bad idea.....maybe he should have just gone when the time was up....why did he agree to this....damn that pastrami!!!
He would lie here with her till she woke....he would try to explain....and she might still love him when she knew that he had sold his soul to become a woman....maybe she would understand.....he loved her so....and to make things worse the silky things he was wearing and her closeness was arousing urges he hadn't felt in a decade!!!
Please god let her understand that I love her....and maybe I could get a little something before I go....that would be so hot!!!