Saturday Matinee - A Deal Inked In Blood

 

 

"Why are you doing this to me.....I had a deal...."

It happened again....another girl stood him up....he sat at that "table for two" as long as he could stand it and the pitying glances and the muffled laughter finally drove him to leave the restaurant and go back to his lonely apartment....

Why would she do this to me, he asked himself....but he knew the answer....deep down he knew....

Ever since he could remember he hated being a boy....he longed for all the pink and lace that the girls had....that was forbidden to him....he prayed every day to take this hated gender away from him....he wanted to be a girl so badly it hurt....and maybe it showed a little and maybe that was why the women he dated didn't see him as husband material...

He went to his closet and put on the frills that he wished he could wear every day....

Silks and satins swirled around him as he lost himself in the fantasy life that could never be....

And once again he prayed....as he never had before....he prayed with every ounce of his being....

"Please....please....make me a woman!!!!"

A puff of smoke and suddenly he was not alone....

"I can make that wish come true for you....if it's what you really want!!!"

"Who....who are you?"

"I have many names....you can call me....Steve!"

"Steve? You're obviously the devil but I can call you Steve!!!!"

"Alright....call me Lucifer....Beelzebub....Steve.....Suzanne....what difference does it make? I can answer your prayer and give you what you most desire"

"You can make me a woman...."

"It's simple....a snap of my fingers and it's done...."

"But I wasn't praying to you....I was asking for divine intervention!"

"Look....you're new at this....but let me tell you just how rare that is.....it really almost never happens....back in the day he was pretty talkative....he was always telling people what to do....nowadays....not so much.....think about it....when was the last time an army was held at bay by a pillar of fire?...I think he's just lost interest....but not me....I live to make people like you become all they want to be..."

"But you're the Trickster....the Evil One....why should I trust you?"

"Because I care enough to come and see you....to offer you an answer....to give you what you most desire....and I ask for so little in return...."

"What do you want from me....if I take this gift from you..."

"Don't you read books....don't you go to the movies....really....how naive can you be....what do you think I want?"

"My.....my immortal soul....that's what you want....isn't it!!!!"

"I promise you'll never miss it...."

"But I'll spend eternity in Hell...."

"Like you weren't going there already.....he really doesn't let a lot of people in...I must have a fifty or sixty to one advantage on him....he's really a stickler about things....one slip-up when you were twelve....eternal damnation for you....sometimes I complain about the strain on my resources!"

"So if I'm already damned maybe I should make a deal...."

They spent the next few hours hammering out an agreement....all carefully documented by the team of lawyers that were called up from the infernal depths....finally they were both satisfied....

He would become....fully and completely....the woman he'd always dreamed of....and in return his soul would report to hell's gate in ten years....at which time he would receive light torment for the first five hundred years....

The contract was signed in blood and witnessed by several very famous lawyers...and upon the last drop of blood finalizing the deal the world swirled and his reality changed!!!!

Now ten years had gone by....and the devil came to claim his own....

"No.....it wasn't fair.....I was cheated!!!!"

"Didn't you become a woman....as I promised?"

"Yes you made me a woman but...."

"In fact you were even a bride....were you not?"

"Yes but...."

"Then I consider our contract fulfilled...."

In moments he found himself bound, hand and foot, while the imps of Hell tore his clothes away....and began the light torment.....tickling for five hundred years would surely drive him mad!!!!

He screamed and wailed....even the demons and imps tired of hearing it....

"I wanted to be a woman!!!! He made me a nun!!!!"

"You should have specified...." said the imp as it tickled his most private space..."You could have been a porn star!!!"