She knows the key to my psyche though....all it takes is one word to take me back into deep humiliation....and she uses it when she senses I'm enjoying myself too much....
"What a cocksucker I married!!!"
And instantly, in my mind I'm a youngster again struggling to come to terms with that word...it was meant to demean and degrade....even the girls....if they got that label....well their lives changed too!!!
Cocksucker....yes I am.....the male ego however, such as it is, still rebels when I hear it!!! That's why she always makes sure to say it....she knows that deep under the long hair and makeup, under the dresses and lingerie.....there's still a boy that gets horribly embarrassed to hear the word out loud!!!! A boy that craves submission and humiliation!!!