The Best We Can Do!!!

Yes Kaaren had his own little group of playmates on his blogs.

Yes sometimes I was a little bit jealous.

I know that some came and went over the years but I can honestly say that the one he missed most was his friend Leeanne.

Who knows why some people just disappeared. I mean it could have been anything.

I know that it bothered Kaaren when he would suddenly stop hearing from someone.

It was just that he cared about people, even people he’d never met.

It would bother me too if I shared all my most intimate details with someone who shared theirs in return and then just stopped and I would never know why.

That’s why I felt that it was important to let his readers know when Kaaren passed.

He would have wanted you to know.

J

Mrs K

Here It Is

I shared my personal kink with almost no one.

I knew what it was that turned me on but I wasn’t at all sure that even my best friends would understand.

In a way I was just hiding myself just as Kaaren was.

I wish I’d had a girlfriend to share it with but I was already seen as a kind of weirdo.

I mean I was the one who enjoyed giving blow jobs while the rest of my friends did it but swore they hated it.

I always felt a little sad that Kaaren didn’t have a confidante other than me.

And although there were a couple of times that I told someone about my little secret kink, it wasn’t something that could ruin my life if it got out.

Not so for Kaaren, if he outed himself to the wrong person it would have been a social suicide.

I’m so glad that he could share all his secrets with me and I could trust him with mine.

Mrs K

Sad News

I’ll never forget that day.

Poor Kaaren was an absolute wreck.

His friend Frank was a decent guy who never had a bad word to say about just about anyone.

He made Kaaren laugh and laugh.

They would talk for hours and Kaaren would apologize to me for taking all that time away from me.

I’d never be cross with him about it but he’d get a “correction “ spanking and he would be fine.

This post brought home something that bothers me still.

When I had the memorial service for Kaaren I couldn’t help but notice that everyone, literally everyone, there were my friends and family.

By the time he’d passed Kaaren had been abandoned by everyone he’d known in his life leaving him only my friends and family to mourn his passing.

This didn’t go unnoticed by my relatives and my mother actually asked me about it afterwards.

What could I say to her in response?

The subject of this post was basically Kaaren’s only friend of his own.

I think I understand why he wrote it and why he didn’t post it.

The people who knew him before he became Kaaren didn’t know him anymore.

The family he had, proved not to be family to him at all 

And that was their loss because they missed the chance to know him.

 But he had me and my family and my friends and he had you. He loved the people who read his “silly little blogs”.

At the end of the day I know that Kaaren was surrounded by people who loved him and l know that he felt that in his heart.

Mrs K

Wondering

And then there was the breast affair.

I actually did set money aside for breast implants for Kaaren.

I’d even spoken to a plastic surgeon who specialized in breast augmentation about doing the procedure on male patients.

Then, once I had all my ducks in a row, I approached Kaaren with the idea.

I knew that it was going to be difficult for him, and me as well, but I honestly thought it was something he’d wanted.

Of course it was going to be hard for us to be discreet about it but at the same time I wasn’t talking about double D cups. I was thinking about something more my size. Mine are a nice B cup and I wouldn’t want them any larger. My friends have nothing but complaints about sagging and back pain and having to wear industrial strength bras like our grandma used to wear.

Anyway, I actually thought Kaaren would jump at the chance to have boobs.

I was wrong.

Oh my goodness. The drama was awful. Tears and wailing about how I didn’t love him as he was.

Of course nothing could have been further from the truth. I loved him so much that I wanted to give him a gift that would make him happy for the rest of his life. 

It really had his head spinning.

Sure he had fantasized about having breasts of his own but suddenly having to choose whether to do it or not was a little overwhelming for him.

He wanted to make me happy even if it meant actually surgically altering his body but it wasn’t something he really wanted.

And before I go on I’ll admit that I kind of liked the idea of having him being even more feminine, even more girly, and I’d enjoy having boobs that weren’t mine to play with.

The indecision was tearing my poor sweetheart up.

Ultimately he decided against it but I made it clear that if he ever changed his mind that the offer would always be there.

There were times after that when he would talk about having breasts of his own but it was only talk.

And he didn’t seem to mind that when the urge hit me I’d find someone else with boobs to play with even though he was very rarely allowed to watch.

Mrs K 

Hiding

Being exposed as a sissy was always the thing that made Kaaren so excited and at the same time terrified.

Yes I exposed him to people he knew and to strangers.

But I was always very careful about doing it.

The last thing I wanted was to hurt him but it was a fine line between that and giving him the humiliation he craved.

This post was just a fantasy for Kaaren. We kept most family members out of this aspect of our lives.

And Kaaren didn’t have a sister. If he had she would have had a hell of a time trying to keep him out of her undies!

Mrs K

I Had A Dream

 This isn’t one of Kaaren’s posts.

Sorry there’s no accompanying picture, that’s what Kaaren did, not me.

I had an amazing dream last night.

I don’t often have dreams that leave me feeling so good and sad at the same time.

In my dream I was coming home and was walking into my house.

I was wondering where Kaaren was because he normally met me at the door with a curtsy and a kiss.

Then I heard noises coming from the kitchen and I assumed my Sweetheart was fixing dinner and hadn’t heard me come in.

I walked to the kitchen and found Kaaren in his prettiest maid uniform.

His hair was in the up ponytail he liked and his makeup was just right.

And he was on his knees with a great big cock in his mouth.

I stopped to watch and he was really enjoying himself.

After what seemed like a long time his mouth filled up with cum which he was clearly savoring as he swallowed it all. Didn’t miss a single drop.

Then he turned to look at me and smiled. That cute smile, like a mischievous little girl caught with her hand in the cookie jar.

The man was unrecognizable to me. Certainly not anyone i knew. He stepped away and another man stepped into his place. Already hard as Kaaren took him in his hand and gave him a lick.

Kaaren winked at me and said, “Thank you for everything.”

Then he took the man into his mouth and started to enjoy himself.

I woke up before he could finish the second man.

I don’t believe in messages from beyond although I do believe that there is something after this life.

But just seeing that smile makes me wonder if maybe Kaaren was trying to tell me something.

It’s nice to think that maybe Kaaren has an afterlife he’ll enjoy.

But it’s sad to remember that he’s gone.

Anyway, thanks for listening. This kind of dream isn’t something you can really discuss with anyone.

Mrs K

How I Wish

Yes Kaaren was small.

I wonder sometimes if he would be been different if he wasn’t.

I’ve been sexually active since I was a young teenager and I’ve seen quite a few cocks.

Some big some small some thick and some thin and I have enjoyed playing with all of them.

From the awesome to the adorable I loved them all.

It’s so funny to me how much size mattered, more to the men than to me. 

I mean it’s not like they had a choice in their penis size.

I can assure you that Kaaren didn’t request an extra small one.

It made my poor sweetie feel so inadequate but I can assure you that he satisfied me more than anyone else.

Maybe not like a guy sporting a big one but more like a lover whose only concern was my pleasure.

My perfect partner and my best friend.

One of a kind.

Mrs K