Johnny Culpepper sat alone in the locker room....all the others had gone....few had bothered to say goodbye....
He had no idea what was wrong with him.....all season he had been a red hot hitter....possibly having a record setting season.....and now when it mattered the most he couldn't seem to hit anything....not even in batting practice!!!!
His coaches asked if he was having personal issues.....the team doctors checked him and found him just as git as he'd ever been....some of his teammates offered encouragement at first....but one after another disappointing showings had left them giving him nasty stares!!!
"Damn it all to Hell.....what the Hell is wrong with me!!!!" he raged in the empty room!!!
At least he thought it was empty.....he was startled when he heard a voice coming from the shadows at the doorway!!!
"I think I might have an answer to your question Mr. Culpepper....if you'd like to hear it..."
"I don't think I know you stranger....how'd you get in here.....that door is supposed to be locked....."
"No Mr. Culpepper, we've never met but I've been watching you for quite some time....and as for the door being locked....well I just popped in...."
"I didn't catch your name...."
"Most of my friends call me Scratch.....and I'd like to be your friend Mr. Culpepper....I'd like to help you with your problem...."
"What do you know about it?"
"I know that you would dearly love to be the hero of the team....that you would be at bat and secure the championship.....isn't that right?"
"Well sure that's what I've always wanted...."
"I can offer you a deal where I can make that happen Johnny......are you interested?"
"Hey this isn't like that deal the White Sox made a few years ago....I don't want to get involved in anything illegal!"
"Oh no....it's nothing like that at all.....although I found that entire episode to be quite amusing....no it's something entirely different.....I can offer you an ironclad contract between you and me that will fulfill your desire to be the hero of the team!"
"And what do you want in return?"
"I want something that you'll never miss....something you don't even know you have....I want your immortal soul!!!"
"Holy Hannah.....you're the devil.....I'm sitting here talking to the devil!!!!!"
"Yes well some have called me that....I have many, many names....but that means
nothing as far as our business here goes.....I know you've been praying to Heaven for assistance with your recent troubles.....have you gotten any answers?"
"Well no I haven't.....but I can't make a deal with the devil!!!!"
"I can and will make you the greatest baseball player in the world.....every mans head will turn as you walk by.....you will be on the front page of every newspaper....you will be the hero and all I want is that inconsequential little thing....that soul....and I can guarantee you will be fine....as fine as can be without it!!!"
"But I don't want to burn in the fiery pits and endure eternal torture....."
"Pish.....that's just some bad press we got ages ago....it's not like that at all....why we have some of the greatest people who ever lived as my guests.....artists, politicians, scientists, philosophers....and athletes too! In your case I think I'd rather have you stay here on earth.....think of it as being a recruiter.....I would make sure that everyone who met you would certainly think you're offering a very attractive deal!"
"You make it sound very attractive Devil!"
"Call me Scratch, please I dislike formalities during negotiations...."
"So let me review....you guarantee to make me the best baseball player in the world....you further guarantee that I will be the teams hero.....additionally you promise that there will be no pits of fire or any sort of eternal torture....and all I'll have to do is attempt to recruit more to sell you their souls.....is that right?"
"That's right and I'll make you an offer that I rarely make anyone....if you fail to be the teams hero at the end of the championship game the contract will be null and void....you'll be just plain Johnny Culpepper and your soul will be your own...."
Many questions still swirled in Johnny's mind but he decided to take his chances....
"Alright....lets do it!!!"
With a wave of his hand and a whiff of sulfur and brimstone a massive contract appeared in his hand and he laid the massive document down along with a golden pen for Johnny to sign....
"That seems like a pretty big contract.....are you sure there's nothing in there that will surprise me...."
"I know....it's lengthy and incredibly tedious and difficult to read....you just wouldn't believe the sheer number of lawyers who inhabit my realm....but it states exactly what I told you....."
Johnny thought for a moment.....and in a rush he picked up the pen and signed his name....
"Shouldn't this be signed in blood or something...."
"My goodness....what a traditionalist you are....in these modern times I find that ink is quite sufficient!!!"
Mr. Scratch took up the pen and signed under Johnny's name....
"There the deal is done....."
There was a lightning flash and Johnny felt a sensation unlike any he had ever felt before...
He stood....and he felt so different....looking at the mirror in his locker he recoiled at what he saw....looking down at himself he knew his reflection hadn't lied to him....he was a woman!!!
He turned to where Mr. Scratch was eying him with some interest....
"What is this!!! You made me a woman!!!! You said I would be the greatest baseball player in the world!!!!"
"Yes I did....but we never specified that you'd remain a man...."
"I can't play like this....they won't let a woman play baseball!!!!"
"You just show up for the game tomorrow....I guarantee they'll let you play!!! Now if you'll excuse me I have some arrangements to make before game time!"
And he spun around on his heel and he was gone!!!!
When he left the stadium no one seemed to notice his transformation....
"Goodnight Miss Pepper..." the guard at the gate called out, "We'll get them tomorrow!!!"
At home his closets and drawers were filled with women's things......he was exhausted....but he spent a little time exploring the new sensations of being a woman....and he drifted off into an uneasy sleep....
He woke and showered....and spent some extra shower time discovering some delightful things about how everything worked....then dressed in what he hoped was something nondescript and headed to the stadium....
As he neared the locker room he could have sworn he saw Mr. Scratch step out and turn toward the press area....
Drawing in his breath he pushed open the door and stepped into the locker room that was at once so familiar and so alien to him now....some of his teammates looked up as he entered and then went back to their business....
He stepped up to his locker and found his uniform....so different from what he was used to....with a glance over his shoulder at the roomful of men he began to remove his clothes to "suit up".
The coach came in.....
"If you guys don't mind I want to start batting practice in two minutes....and that includes you Miss Pepper....so move your cute ass!!!!"
Johnny found himself blushing at this somewhat compliment...
Stepping out onto the field no one commented on his skin tight uniform or his stockings and heels.....heels how was he supposed to play in heels!!!
Stepping into the batting cage he once again thought he spotted Mr. Scratch talking to the coach.....
The pitch came at him....low and fast and he swung without thought and watched as it sailed over the center field wall....
Every pitch he was thrown went over the wall.....every one.....
He couldn't believe it.....but he looked up in the empty stands and thought he saw Mr. Scratch there for just a moment....then he was gone....maybe a trick of the light....
Taking his place in left field he found it remarkably easy to make amazing plays....running as swift as a cheetah.....anticipating every hitter....he was the best he'd ever been!!!!
Game time came and again he could swear he saw Mr. Scratch whispering to the officials and then the game began.....
He came out to bat clean-up....
The PA boomed out.....
"Now batting....number 13....Red Pepper!"
The crowd roared....whistles and wolf calls and he thought he heard a marriage proposal or two....
He stepped up to the plate and the first pitch was low and away....ball one...
The second pitch was high and tight....strike one....
The third pitch was a curving fastball and he swung and it sailed into the left field stands....the crowd went wild as he ran the bases.....
The innings passed and the two teams were pretty evenly matched despite "Red Pepper's" talent and they came to the bottom of the ninth inning...tied at seven runs each....bases were loaded and "Red Pepper" was up to bat.....
This time there was no doubt that Mr. Scratch was there....in the first row on the first base line.....he smiled and gave a small wave....
Johnny stepped out of the batter's box and shook some dirt from his cleats....and he looked down at his new body....
Was he OK with this.....Scratch had tricked him.....if he had told him he'd become a woman he wouldn't have agreed....but he was the best ballplayer he'd ever been....maybe the best ever....but at what cost!!!
He stepped into the batter's box and the pitcher delivered a screaming fast ball, right down the middle.....strike one....
He could easily have put that one out of the park....but he thought of the contract....if he wasn't the hero today he could have his life back....his soul back....which did he want more....
The pitcher wound up and sent a sinker that barely stayed in the zone....strike two.....
He glanced at Scratch.....happily eating a mustard covered hot dog as the fans around him were on their feet clamoring for him to win the game....
The pitcher nodded at the signal from the catcher.....both teams were leaning out of their respective dugouts.....there was the windup and there was the pitch....
It was as though time stood still for a moment....
The pitcher had delivered him a grand slam ball......and he would be the hero and all the adulation would come....but not to Johnny Culpepper....it would come to "Red" Pepper....but if he let it go by he would be the goat....the fans would never forgive him....but it would break that accursed contract and he would be himself again
He watched the fastball go past him and heard the umpire call out....
"Strike three....you're out!!!!"
The fans booed him as he walked off the field....the other team celebrated and called out their thanks to him as he bowed his head.....his teammates walked away from him and he sat on the dugout bench and watched the celebration of the other team as the fans angrily left the stadium....
Suddenly he realized Mr. Scratch was sitting next to him....
"Well, you old devil;, we lost!"
"Yes you did...."
"So I guess that voids the contract....when do I change back?"
"What do you mean....I don't understand...."
"You promised me I'd be the hero of the championship team and we didn't win..."
"I never said anything about your team winning....and you are quite the hero of the championship team.....all of the men on that team love you right now!!!!"
"Wait....but....you said...."
"It's all in the contract my boy....or should I say my girl....I'll be giving you a list of names of men I'd like you to recruit for me.....I'm sure you'll figure out how it all works...."
"What if I kill myself?"
"Well you could do that but where will that get you? It will only bring you back to me and I'll put you right back to work!!!"
"So I'm going to be a girl forever?"
"You'll get used to it my dear.....now if you'll excuse me there's going to be a presidential debate tonight and I'd hate to miss it...."
In a puff of smoke he was gone....
No comments:
Post a Comment