"So when are you going this year?"
"Third week of July....but I'm not sure I really want to go....I mean I'd be all by myself this year....my folks can't go....my sister can't go....I won't know anybody there..."
"Are you kidding me!!!! Man, I would kill for a deal like that! A whole week on my own, with my own beach house, and my parents credit card to pay for anything I needed!!!! I only wish I could go with you!!!! I mean this could be the summer you finally get laid!!!"
"Oh yeah....sure....you know how shy I am.....and the girls all go for the beach boys with their curly hair and suntans!!!!"
"Is that all....why don't you come with me and ask old Doc Daneeka about it...he always has a way to fix everything!!!! Maybe he can give you a pill or something that'll make you a tan beach boy too!!!!"
"You know there's no such thing!!!!"
"Remember Little Tony Manelli....he took a couple of pills and next thing you know he's a star on the school football team..."
"I thought that was just a growth spurt...."
"Growth spurt my ass....that was three pills from Doc Daneeka....Little Tony told me so!!!!"
"Well alright....I'll think it over...."
The next morning he was there knocking on Doc Daneeka's door....he was a little startled when the door swung open....he had expected someone like Doc Brown from that Back to the Future movie....instead he was met by a very ordinary looking man in a brown suit...."
"May I help you young man?"
"Are you Doc...Doctor Daneeka?"
"The one and only....please come in and tell me what I can do for you."
Settling down in the examination room the doctor took some basic information from him and asked him again...
"Well...." he checked the chart, "Well John....what brings you here so bright and early?"
"Look....I know this is going to sound really stupid....but my friend told me that maybe you could help me with a problem....you see I'm going on a beach vacation by myself and I'm tired of everybody getting laid but me....."
"So you want something that will make you popular with the opposite sex....is that it?"
"That's it Doc....I was hoping you could give me something that would change me....make people notice me....I want some attention...."
"From the opposite sex?"
Exactly....I know it was crazy to come to you but my friend...."
"Nonsense....I have exactly what you need right here... now where is it....oh here it is....this is a special suntan lotion....there's more than enough in this tube to last a month so you won't run out....it's very powerful so you don't need much....but for gods sake don't let anyone else touch it while it's still wet on your skin!!!!"
"So I'll get the girls with this stuff?"
"Well you'll probably attract some girls....I guess....but you will be very popular!!!!"
The Doc was right!!!! He hadn't expected what the lotion would do to him but when he looked in the mirror he couldn't argue with the results!!!!
Thank god his sister had left some of her clothes here!!!!
And he got laid....finally....not how he'd expected but it was still glorious!!!!
And not just once either....lots and lots of times....and a few girls too!!!!
When he went out on the beach he would always have someone come running when he started to put the lotion on....
"Can I help you with that?"
"No thank you....I prefer to do it myself....but maybe you could help me with something later...."
"You bet Babe!!!!"
He was thinking of calling his parents to see if he could stay another week!!!!
No comments:
Post a Comment