Saturday, October 19, 2019

Saturday Matinee - The Pink Panties




At every grand house in Europe the cries were heard....robbery!!!!
The Sûreté had assigned their best man to the case, Detective Auguste Renoir....and soon he was hot on the trail of the notorious Shadow!!!!
He made a point of attending all the parties thrown by the "Smart Set" all across Europe...and as he cross-referenced the guest lists it became clear that only two guests had been at every party where the Shadow had struck....himself and Lord Cravenwood!!!
When he had found out the Arabistan Embassy was having it's annual Halloween costume party he knew that the Shadow would not be able to resist the rich collection that the Queen always traveled with!!!!
Disguising himself as a party goer he had set the trap!!!!
He watched Lord Cravenwood carefully....and he never made a single move toward the Queen's chambers throughout the entire night!!!!
As the other guests began to take their leave he found out that Lord Cravenwood was going to be an overnight guest!!!!
It wasn't his usual MO but he felt it in his bones that the Shadow would strike tonight...
The Queen, after several cocktails was "sleeping" in the King's chambers leaving her rooms empty and he found a spot in the dark and waited.....and waited....
Silently the door opened a crack....spilling light into the dark room....and Lord Cravenwood slipped inside, shutting the door behind him!!!!!
There was no movement for a moment and then the rooms lights came on dazzling the detectives eyes, for a moment he couldn't see but he could hear the thief talking to himself.....it was Cravenwood all right!!!
"Now where are you my sweet little beauties.....you will be the crowning glory of my collection!!!!"
He was opening drawers in an increasingly frenzied way until he found what he wanted and then he stopped!!!!
"And here we are.....the jeweled panties of the Queen!!!!"
Renoir leaped from his hiding place, brandishing his gun.....
"So I have caught you in the act Lord Cravenwood......drop those panties and put up your hands!!!!"
"And who are you my dear?"
"I am not your dear!!!! don't let these feminine clothes fool you.....I am Detective Auguste Renoir of the Sûreté and you are the notorious Shadow!!!!"
"But Detective.....you surprise me....one such as you, who so naturally looks and moves like a woman....you would begrudge me these little souvenirs.....in fact if you look at these closely not only are they wonderfully sexy but the front panel is crusted with diamonds and other rare gems.....they're worth millions and the Queen wears them as underwear!!!! It seem a sin when so many of her people are hungry.....don't you agree?"
"That is not my concern....I am putting an end to your crime spree....all across Europe no woman's lingerie is safe with you on the loose....."
"I bet you'd look lovely in these Detective.....and they're worth enough money that you could retire to a life of decadence and debauchery...."
"As attractive as that sounds Miseur Shadow, it appears as if neither one of us will have them....you'll be in jail and they will be returned to the Queen after your trial!!!"
But Detective....Auguste....I know something that you don't know...."
"And what is that Miseur Shadow...."
"There's two pairs of these pink panties.....one for you and one for me....."
"Two...."
"Yes Renoir.....I'm planning to retire after this....take your prize and come with me....judging from what I see you're the perfect woman for me!!!!"
"But I'm only pretending to be a woman!"
"Like I said.....perfect!!!!"


The days headlines screamed....."Millions of dollars stolen from Arabistan Embassy....Famous Detective Disappears!!!!"















1 comment:

  1. SO not only do WE know the Shadow knows, he did it under the Shadow's nose!

    As they say in Blazing Saddles, "God darnit, you use your tongue prettier than a twenty dollar whore!"

    ReplyDelete