Recluse

I guess some would say I was a bit of a recluse....
Most of my old friends gave up on me some time ago....
I spend almost all my time in the house, after all a sissy maid is always busy....
Almost all of my contact with the outside world is through my wife....she decides if we're going out....she decides where we're going to go....she decides who we're going to see etc....
Our friends are actually her friends.....
So anyway, you get the idea...
So as a recluse you'd think a fellow recluse would have some respect for me....but no....that wasn't the case!!!!
About a week ago I was bitten by a spider....now let me tell you about me and spiders....I love spiders....when I was young I had a pet tarantula that I used to let walk around on me....it tickled like mad but Boris and I had an agreement...I didn't bite him and he didn't bite me....it just worked for both of us...
I never killed spiders found in our house....I would somehow scoop them up and put them outside....live and let live....
But this little bastard that bit me didn't get the memo that I was a "friendly" human and he sank his fangs into the back of my calf....
At first it was just irritating....then it got bad.....huge pain and swelling  and a sizable blister right in the center.....
My wife was horrified and took me to the doctor who immediately diagnosed it as a spider bite....imagine my surprise when he told me it was probably a Brown Recluse spider that got me!!!!
Betrayed by a fellow recluse!!!!
It hurt like mad and I asked him when I was going to develop superpowers because for it to hurt like this the spider was probably radioactive!!!!
Well he said it was infected and I needed antibiotics and that when the blister burst....yucky....I would have to put this medicated goo on it and that maybe if I was lucky it would look almost normal again in four to six weeks......but it would leave a scar....
So here I am at the beginning of the summer with a huge bandage on the back of my leg and I can't wear stockings or heels because it hurts if I do.....
So that's the reality of my life right now.....wearing flats and long skirts to cover the ugliness that's going on back there.....
And from now on....I swear to god....and all you spiders out there reading this better pay attention.....you'd better stay out of my way....my vengeance will be terrible!!!!!